Editorial: Is it Time For a Parental Code of Conduct in BMX Racing?

The concept for this editorial, the first in BMXNEWS history, has been percolating for a couple months now. Thus, it is not in direct response to any incident which may or may not have happened in the past 48 hours.

By and large, BMX Racing is a sport for kids. Sure, we may joke about “overgrown kids” grunting their way through a 41-over main event, but the general intent is to give our little ones a different flavor of fun from traditional stick and ball sports-—the proverbial Rocky Road, in a world of Vanilla and Chocolate. And it works. Boy does it work. One reason those 41-over types are giving it their all out there is because BMX Racing is such a profoundly positive and rewarding experience that decades can pass, and the compulsion to race remains.

The object lessons of competitive sport is that it helps mold character—for youth in particular. It helps keep them away from the smoking, and the drinking and the fighting that they encounter on the mean streets of Anytown USA. It shows them how to win with grace, lose with dignity, and work to be better next time, whatever the outcome. At least that is what is SUPPOSED to happen.

Like anything in life, we bring our own personal quirks to the party. Maybe I am an overanalyzer, who counts the teeth on my son’s cogs, just to make sure there are as many as advertised in the stamped metal before me. Maybe I am a “devil-may-care” type who doesn’t look at the bike for weeks, then grabs it and puts Junior on the gate (with a flat tire). Dip the ladle in anyone’s everyday life, and you’ll probably find their BMX life pretty well mirrors their M/O on the Monday mornings and Wednesday evenings between last week’s main and next week’s first round.

But if my propensity is to solve conflict “like men,” with fists of fury, or to viciously belittle the efforts of my five year old when he just isn’t performing like the Little Einstein I was promised by those videos we purchased when he was born, then a BMX track may prove an unfortunate outlet, both for the participant, and all those playing witness to such behavior.

I think we forget sometimes that, though they may be world-class competitors, performing at a level far above their peers (both athletically and socially), the bottom line is that BMXers are kids–little people soaking up experiences and modeling behaviors of those they admire, for better or worse.

It’s tough to address this without sounding like I’m lecturing people on how to act—I’m not (though even playing it in my head, it kind of sounds that way). BMX Racing is not charm school, I get that. But it is the opinion of this writer that a “Parental Code Of Conduct” be drafted and enacted in addition to, and separate from, the “conduct” provisions in each sanction’s rulebook. This should not be a “hidden way in the fine print” thing; it should be shouted from every starting hill and announcers tower in the land. This document would resemble a “contract” (not in a legal sense, but in a “we expect you to read and follow this” kind of way), which all parents would sign as part of the membership process each year. The document would set forth how each governing body expects its participants and their parents to act (and it might not hurt to have it issued to local tracks as a poster, and hung near the registration window, as a reminder).

In making such a statement, I am lobbying for a few specific behaviors to be addressed. These are:

* Leave the smokes at home. A BMX Track is an athletic facility, surely the same as a velodrome or soccer pitch. True, most tracks are outside, and some are on public lands (and as such, people often take up a “I pays my taxes, so I can come on out here and take a piss on it if I want to” posture), but people seem to forget that BMX racers are ATHLETES, many breathing heavily after vigorous competition, and require fresh air to do their thing. I’m not a smoker, so I guess I could be painted as biased, but to see parents smoking in staging, adjacent to the finish line and, yes, even in the infield at a recent national, had me dumbfounded, and hopping mad. Some people speak out, as one dad did in the finish line example just stated. He was met with a single-finger-salute and instructions on where to take his advice (more on that behavior later). Look, you may roll all the windows up with your baby strapped in her car seat and smoke up a couple packs of Marlboro Reds, that’s between you and child services. But please, leave the cancer sticks on the kitchen counter when you’re coming to the track, and advise your posse (aunts, uncles, neighbors coming to cheer on little Cindy) to do the same. And if you don’t, then try not to get all torqued off when someone courteously asks you to refrain while standing on the starting hill. Take a two-minute walk in a straight line in any direction and light em up, if you must.

* Never scream at another person’s kid. No matter how right you think you are, you have no place coaching, much less screaming, your riding tips, admonitions and down right insults, at someone else’s kid. Think of racers like rockstars…you need to talk to their “agent” if you want anything out of them. Johnny Nagrider cuts over on your little Billy DeAngelino and causes him to grab a handful of brake? Fine…walk off your frustration, then re-focus yourself on why you’re here (the kids…positive influences…breathe…say it with me now… the kids…positive influences…). “You’ll” get ‘em next time, champ. If you require a sit down with another dad due to repetitive stress, cool, do that thing. But if you know you’re a hot head, who is likely to melt down and go Chernobyl on the guy, then maybe an intermediary is in order. Have the TO or a race official do the talking, lest your reputation, and that of your rider, become radioactive for the next 45,000 years.

* Race day anger don’t last, but Google’s forever. Maybe you’re a “pen’s mightier than the sword” type, who decides to posit a pointed post to punctuate your position, post haste, post-race. And so you take to the forums and get it out of your system. Problem is that once it’s OUT of your system, it’s IN someone else’s (computer) system. Your online persona can easily leak into your real-world business, such as when a prospective employer does a Google search on you. Think before you write (LOL…maybe I should have acted on that advice this morning at 5AM when I started writing this).

* It’s the pit area, not “The Octagon.” There once was a time, when citizens of Illinois and Missouri disagreed, they met on “Bloody island” — a towhead in the Mississippi River to “settle it like gentlemen,” in a classic duel. The YouTube-age equivilent is to ask a “second” to hide behind that SUV with a video camera while you go find the guy who crossed over from lane 8 to lane six on your little Jimmy (notice how I said “the guy,” meaning this is surely a duel among adults, and not the riders, themselves). How it goes from “something has to be done about this” to “Your honor, the defendant enters a plea of ‘No Contest’ in this matter” is anyone’s guess. Is it one too many slugs of “Gator & Goose?” Or just that frontier spirit that never evolved beyond the “let’s take this outside” school of diplomacy? No matter. Fighting, of any kind, should not be a part of your race day experience. People need to feel safe at BMX Races. If there is a chance that the dad of the second place rider in the 12 novice class is going to go find the winner’s dad and start “throwin them thangs” in the parking lot, how long will people want to come back?

* What kind of “coach” are you…Tony Robbins or Bobby Knight? The factors at play in national BMX Racing are a volatile mix. You have the financial cost involved in being there, the time off work, family sacrifices, adrenaline, testosterone, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat and maybe, for some, a little bit of “If I couldn’t get there, I’m going to make sure S/HE will.” In Reno this year, a younger class had just finished on the track (I’m not going to say which one), and the dad of the fourth place rider (they were taking three) basically ripped the little tyke off his bike and hurried him out of the arena and into the parking lot. There, the already-hysterical kid got ten minutes of the most vulgar mix of four letter words, insults, put downs, degradations and hostile treatment I have ever seen. He was pushed to the ground, his $2000 bike hurled 20 feet into a fence, his helmet skipped over the asphalt in the parking lot like a stone on a pond. I can’t imagine what kind of life this little guy has to endure at home, but I gotta tell you honestly that it nearly made me cry thinking about it. Is it my place to jump in? I don’t think so, lest the lesson above regarding duels be introduced into the situation. “Who else wants some?” is definitely this dad’s tack.

The organizers of our sport put their hearts and souls in to making the sport what it is today. They have made countless sacrifices, spent every holiday away from family and (non-BMX) friends…and in some cases literally put their life’s work into making BMX Racing a better sport. How are you honoring their commitment? And with our national titles and Olympic Dreams, all participants and their families need to reflect on what this is all about: offering your children a safe, spirited venue for competition, fun and family time.

As BMX parents, we need to ask ourselves: Is it time for a Parental Code Of Conduct in the sport of BMX Racing? Both sanctions have rules governing “conduct” in their rulebooks. But I’m talking about much more than “Riders may be penalized and may be suspended from the track or may have their license suspended for their own failure or for the failure of those in their company to meet these standards or for engaging in unsportsmanlike conduct” and “A rider may be disqualified or suspended for his/her actions or the actions of his/her parent(s), or accompanying party.” I mean an honest-to-goodness “here’s how BMXers and their parents are expected to behave” Code Of Conduct.

Take, for instance, the Little League Code of Conduct. It states, for example, “I will never ridicule or yell at my child or other participants for making a mistake or losing a competition.” and “I will demand a sports environment for my child that is free from drugs, tobacco, and alcohol and I will refrain from their use at all sports events.” As passionate and delighted I am about my son’s involvement in BMX racing, I have to give a tip of the visor to that kind of culture-making.

Naturally, the term “Little League Parent” did not materialize out of thin air—a collection of incidents brought it about. And the league responded in-kind with the above-mentioned document, in order to preserve the future of Little League Baseball and set up a “culture” document to which future generations would be expected to adhere. I feel we are at this place in BMX racing today.

Even if some BMX families scoff at it for the first year or so, the very existence of such a document, and the parent’s signature on same makes it a “you gave us your word” kind of thing (for riders over the age of 18, they would be required to sign it on their own behalf). As demonstrated, this is a group that is all about honor. OK, so let’s formalize it, then.

—Mike Carruth, May 3, 2010